Adult Age Child Still At Home?

When Adult Children Live at Home: Supporting Growth vs. Enabling Stagnation

Having adult children living at home can be challenging for parents, especially when trying to balance support with encouraging independence. If your child is enrolled in college or trade school and actively working toward a specialized career, supporting them through graduation can be a wise and valuable investment in their future. In this case, their hard work will likely lead to better financial stability and independence in the near future.

However, if your adult child is working a low- to mid-paying job with little opportunity for advancement, lacks a degree or clear career path, and can’t afford to live independently, it may be time to have some honest conversations. Without realizing it, you may be enabling them to remain stuck in a rut.

Start by reflecting on the reasons your child isn’t progressing. Are they staying because it’s convenient for you? Do they help with childcare or household expenses? Are they staying because they feel obligated or because your home offers an easy financial cushion? Ask yourself: If they’re not planning to stay forever, when do you envision this living situation ending?

Of course, if you or your child has a disability or medical condition that limits independence, the situation is different. But if they’re fully capable, yet not pursuing goals or building a future, it's important to ask why. Obviously, families take care of one another when needed for medical reasons, but this article is about your adult age child who just doesn't seem to be moving toward independence and there is not an obvious obstacle.

Young adults often need guidance well into their early twenties, as the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and long-term planning—the frontal lobe—doesn’t fully mature until around age 25. Your child may not yet be capable of thinking far ahead and might need help developing a plan.

Encourage your child to compare career paths: for instance, working as a server vs. becoming a nurse, teacher, or attorney. Not choosing a path is, in itself, a choice—often one that leads to limited options and frustration.

If your child is simply unsure about their future, a life coach can help. Through thoughtful questions and structured planning, a coach can help them identify career goals, explore educational options, and build confidence in their abilities. Many young adults feel stuck, unsure if they’re smart enough, too late to start, or financially unable to pursue school. A life coach can help your child break through these limiting beliefs and start moving them toward a future they can be proud of.

We can help. Sometimes a listening ear can communicate with your child in a way that doesn't feel like they are being judged or feel guilty that they have not made a move toward a more rewarding future.  Contact us at familyjoylifecoach@gmail.com for a free 15-minute consultation and take the first step toward your child’s success.