Are Your Kids Spoiled?

We've all experienced it. You're out in public and suddenly, it happens again—a meltdown. Your little one wanted a toy, and you said the dreaded "n" word: "Not today." The world seems to fall apart, and your child starts a battle with you. Right in the middle of a department store. The peaceful shopping atmosphere turn

s chaotic, and people start giving you disapproving looks. What should you do?

If you give in and let your child pick a toy to take home, you might be encouraging this behavior. After all, your child realizes that throwing a tantrum actually worked. They got what they wanted by screaming, crying, or throwing themselves on the floor. Oops, you just reinforced that behavior.

I understand, you were in a rush and just didn't have the energy to argue that day, or any day, really. But looking back, was it truly worth it to give in? Now you have a problem you might have inadvertently created. Your child is clever and thinks, "I know how to get what I want." And they will. The next time you say "no," the same scenario might unfold because your child is prepared with the tantrum tactic. How can you prevent this in the future?

There are numerous techniques and strategies we could discuss, but to start, let's focus on how to communicate with your child before you even enter the store. Offering your child some choices before leaving the car is a great way to help them think about their actions beforehand. You want to plant a seed to reward good behavior, not the opposite.

Consider saying, "We are going shopping for Daddy's birthday today. We are only buying things for Daddy. Let's think about what Daddy would like for his birthday." Your child might suggest things like new shoes or a new shirt. You can remind them again that today's shopping is solely for Daddy. You should also provide an incentive for them not to ask for a toy or something for themselves. This is especially important if they usually get a toy or candy every time you shop. Your child will expect to pick something for themselves too, since they always get what they want. You could say, "If we do a great job shopping only for Daddy today, we can go get ice cream afterward." Remember, we are only buying for Daddy to earn the ice cream treat. If your child tests the boundaries in the store and insists on you buying something for them, you shouldn't give in, and you definitely don't get ice cream afterward. Try this approach again the next time you go shopping, and your child will likely remember they didn't get anything the last time they made the wrong choice. You and your childs shopping experiences are about to be much more joyful!

You can do this!

Lisa Mears,

Family Life Coach